Episode 20: A Plethora of Propagandists

Meanwhile, on the courthouse steps, the media circus continued.

“Yesterday, the courtroom was captivated by a heartfelt plea from a courageous young student that Dr. Andrews apologize for disrespecting his student’s gender identity,” proclaimed a reporter on the courthouse steps. “After the break, we’ll be talking with transgender advocates who will explain how Dr. Andrews’s refusal to apologize commits literal violence against the trans community by provoking suicides and encouraging others to follow his example. There can be no free speech for Dr. Andrews’s violent hate speech. We’ll have this and other highlights of yesterday’s drama on The Good Morning News after this brief message from our sponsor.”

“Yo, what’s up zoomers? It’s your boy, Zoomcaster, here, with the latest updates from the Andrews Trial. I want to give a shoutout to the thousands of new subscribers who joined the ride after I broke the exclusive news about the judge’s ruling. Welcome to the stream! Let’s talk about this apology buzz that’s going around. It’s just crazy, you know? Putting someone in jail because they hurt someone’s feelings? I mean, come on. The real highlight for me was how Dr. Andrews was stuck between a rock and a hard place, having to teach from a textbook that supports the biological theory of sex while also being prohibited from presenting that material by the GAIA Act. Like seriously? Talk about a Catch 22! Today, the state will finish its case, and the defense will finally get to have their say. Anyway, keep on hitting ‘Like’ and ‘Subscribe’ and hit the ‘Notification Bell,’ so you don’t miss an update!”

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“What is it about stiff-necked American pride that makes it so difficult in their culture to admit to a mistake?” a British reporter posed the rhetorical question to his unseen audience. “Before the trial begins this morning, we’ll be going live to cross-cultural apology expert, Lord Feverstone, for his expert analysis on when an ‘I’m sorry’ is sufficient or whether a more elaborate apology is demanded by custom and culture.”

“In brief, this is a strictly ‘woke’ community,” opined a gray-haired reporter, “with no notion of fairness, justice, and due process of law. The few normal people scurry about furtively trying to avoid the notice of the woke mob. In the battle of town versus gown, the gowns have prevailed, and the campus tail is busily wagging the town dog. Try to picture a town that appears to be inhabited wholly by purple-haired harpies and limp-wristed soyboys, and you will have a reasonably accurate image of it. Its people are simply unable to imagine a man who rejects the moral authority of the woke ideology. The most they can conjure up, straining until they are red in the face, is a man who is simply too stupid or evil to understand that their nonsense is virtue.”

“There are moments that are seared, literally seared on your memory,” another reporter declared. “Yesterday was such a moment. Every decent onlooker was moved by a courageous young student’s heartfelt plea to Dr. Andrews to apologize for disrespecting his vulnerable student’s gender identity.”

“Time for an inspiration inhalation,” began another balding man. “Deep breath in… hold it… and out. The Great Analyzer always has the best analysis you’ll find anywhere. Turns out I was EXACTLY CORRECT about no one knowing how the judge was going to rule. Certain of the amateur commentariat legion here made a lucky guess based on an offhand comment by Judge Connor. But as I said, they didn’t really ‘know’ what the ruling was going to be in advance. Am I right? Of course, I am. Now, today’s lecture from the Great Analyzer is on ‘apologies.’ Do they have semantic significance? Or are they merely social lubricant? Let me explain.”

“We have seen the face of true courage,” still another reporter emoted into a camera, “a brave student asking the teacher who denied her gender identity to just say three simple words: ‘I’m sorry.’ Yesterday, every decent, caring heart in the courtroom was moved to tears by the sincerity of the plea. Today we’ll be discovering whether Dr. Andrews is a man… or a monster.”

“The legacy media are all prattling on about ‘apologies’ this morning,” declared the Dangerous Tranny, shaking his head in exasperation. “As if being exposed to facts of biology – facts the student in question admitted she ALREADY KNEW – was some kind of offense. Let me tell you, darling, any ‘friend of Dorothy’ has experienced far, far worse than being exposed to the facts of life. This cycle of outrage and apology is pure drama, and it’s BAD drama at that. Take it from the world’s most FABULOUS drama queen, straight to the bank!”